I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
