if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
