why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
