Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
