Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
