Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
