yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
