You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
