My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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