just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
so much tequila, so little girl.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
