oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
