So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
