How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
