Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So vagazzling was a success
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
