Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
