I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
