I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
