If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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