it was like his penis was on wheels.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
