It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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