I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
