Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
