yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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