He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
