i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
