I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
