he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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