AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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