so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
