What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
