does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
