Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I deserve this hangover.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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