How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
