I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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