Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
