does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
