is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
