Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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