oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
