i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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