No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
