About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
