Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
