i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
