Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
