So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
