he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
