i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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