Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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