i think my mom watched the whole time
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize