apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
