His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Randomize
