my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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