Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Your cock deserves a montage
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
