either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
